A Rich Kid With Issues
by The-Lady-Isis
Summary: Morgaine Le Fay doesn't turn them back into adults - so now Batboy, Superboy, Wonder Girl and a very young Green Lantern have to turn themselves back. What could go wrong? Apart from Wally finding out...
1. HandFeeding Giraffes

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Neither does chaosmob. So no suing please!**

**A/N: This is a co-write between chaosmob and I, so it'll be one chapter each. This is my chapter, so enjoy!**

**A Rich Kid With Issues**

**Chapter One - Hand-Feeding Giraffes **

"I'm _older _than you now."

Okay, so far so good. This was about to very right or very wrong...

Batboy stood up, a triumphant grin on his face. "You sure are."

Mordred's smug expression faltered. "What?" When he looked down and saw his disappearing legs, it moved to one of pure terror. "Wait, no!"

It was too late, though, and in a swirl of golden fire, the now-adult Mordred was swept away. With him, Funseyland was immediately restored to it's golden, light-filled glory, a purple wave of magic crashing through it all. It left, however, four superhero kids and a demon baby in its wake.

Everyone looked optimistic that Morgaine would be along soon to reverse the spell, Diana noted. Everyone, that was, except Batman. Boy. But then he hadn't been as childlike as the rest of them; and it wasn't a successful mission until the report had been typed and filed, after all.

Catching her look, he sent her a glare. Diana rolled her eyes and returned her gaze to the squirming baby in her arms. He really was so _cute_, she thought, tickling him under his chin. Baby Etrigan gurgled happily and settled down a bit.

In front of the faintly pink castle, the figure of Morgaine le Fay appeared, regarding them all from underneath her emotionless mask. "Well?" Batboy demanded impatiently.

She nodded. "A bargain is a bargain."

They waited. No magic was forthcoming. When Morgaine spoke again, her voice was cold with anger. "But the damage you have wrought upon my son - this I _cannot _forgive."

_Uh-oh... _"You can't just _leave _us like this!" Clark protested, stepping forward.

"And I won't," Le Fay assured them. "As soon as I find a way to restore Mordred's eternal _youth_, I will release you from the spell."

"But-"

Then she disappeared, leaving the four of them staring after her. GL summed it up. "I _hate _magic."

"Now what do we do?" she asked.

"Get out of here for a start," Bruce said. "Then we contact the League magicians; Zatanna, Doctor Fate, and start working on a way to revert back to adulthood."

Superboy nodded. "Good idea." He put his hand to his com-link. "Super-"

Bruce knocked his hand away with a glare. "Not the _Watchtower_, doofus!"

Diana and John exchanged a glance, then giggled a little bit. Bruce bestowed a glare on everyone. "Don't tell me you're embarrassed?" Clark asked. "C'mon, Batman, it's just the rest of the League!"

"Some of us have reputations that need to be maintained, Kent! It doesn't matter how they see you; I can't afford to be ridiculed!"

He had a point, Diana reflected. Without any meta-powers, fear and respect went hand in hand with Batman. Without that… "So where else is there?" she asked. Her mind went back to the last time the League had been without sanctuary — the Thanagarian invasion. "I guess it'll have to be the m- Batcave."

Batboy nodded. "Fine. But _no one _tells Flash where we are." He then flipped open a panel in his gauntlet, tapping a sequence of keys. "The Batmobile is on its way."

"How long will it take to get here?" GL asked.

Funseyland was just outside Metropolis, and Gotham was about a hundred miles north of here.

"About an hour," Batboy said briefly.

"So we have time to go around Funseyland?" Clark asked. "I always wanted to come here as a kid!"

"It does look like fun," Diana agreed, noting the expressions on John and Bruce's faces. John looked equally excited, and Bruce looked — as normal — like he was brooding over something. "And circumstances aside, maybe we could just enjoy being kids again."

Bruce stiffened, then turned to deliver a narrow-eyed glare at her. "I haven't been a _kid_ since I was eight years old."

No one wanted to point out that he _was _eight years old, and after yet another glare, Bruce stalked away. Diana sighed, her free hand planted on her hip. There he went again. Well, she wasn't having it. Shoving Etrigan into Clark's arms, she turned on her heel and went after Bruce.

For a non-meta, he had a gift for escaping situations extremely quickly; she had to lift into the air to find the darkest shadow in the park. He was almost to the gate when she found him. Wasting no time, Diana swooped down in front of him. "No."

Bruce glared. "Get out of the way, Diana."

"Not until you come feed the giraffes with me."

Her demanded was so random that he stopped, staring at her. "I- You- _What_?"

"Are you going deaf?" she asked. Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed his hand and lifted into the air until she spotted the giraffe enclosure. She made sure to grab a couple branches along the way.

Finally they were alongside the giraffes, and Diana set Bruce down, then gave one of the branches to Bruce. They were pretty much alone, since every parent in the park had wanted to get their children home as quickly as possible. She held out one of the branches to Bruce, who promptly folded his arms.

"I am _not _hand-feeding giraffes, Princess."

She grinned. "I like it when you call me that, you know."

"I'm still not doing it, _Diana_."

"Of course you are," she told him smugly.

She put the branch at his feet, then waved the branch toward the nearest giraffe. With a gait that was both clumsy and graceful, it moved over to her and bent down, tearing the leaves of the top. Diana somehow managed to look like she was struggling to hold onto the branch whilst giggling enchantingly. Not that he noticed that, of course.

She seemed so engaged in the task that Bruce thought sneaking away might be a good idea...only to be stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. "Please, Bruce."

Damn it, why did she have to say _please_?

Heaving out the most dramatic and long-suffering sigh he could muster, Bruce picked up the branch at his feet. And then he held it out to the giraffe. A foot-long tongue shot out, and Bruce's jaw dropped. "It's _blue_," he exclaimed.

Diana beamed. "Great Hera, something Batman doesn't know!"

"Shut up."

Him looking at her had distracted him away from the giraffe, and stopped him from noticing the branch had now been stripped of leaves. The giraffe chose to convey this to Bruce by licking him. On the face. True, it was mostly covered by his cowl, but still-

"Oh, that is _gross_!"

Diana burst out laughing. Bruce, dripping in giraffe drool, glared at her. "This is _not _funny!"

She nodded, tears of mirth streaming down her cheeks as she struggled for breath. "Oh yes it is!" Still laughing, she bent double. Mistake.

Her giraffe decided on a similar tactic to Bruce's, resulting with both Diana's arms - the only part of her close enough to the giraffe - being very wet and slobbery. It was Bruce's turn to burst out laughing. Diana had abruptly stopped, and was now looking utterly disgusted. "Great Hera…it's like _snot_!"

Bruce kept laughing. Then realised he was laughing. And cut himself off. Angry that she'd managed to trick him into acting like a _kid_, he clapped slowly, sarcastically. "Well done, Diana. I have to applaud your efforts. Nice try, but no cigar."

Diana did not look at all perturbed, only shrugging. "Best thing about being a kid? Endless capacity for practical jokes."

The computer in Bruce's gauntlet beeped. "Car's here."

She offered him her hand. "Come on then."

He looked at her hand in disgust. "I'm not touching _that_."

She shrugged, took to the air. "Suit yourself."

When she landed next to the sleek black form of the Batmobile, Clark and John were waiting, Baby Etrigan struggling to get to Diana as soon as he saw her. When she got closer, though, and he smelt the giraffe drool, and backed off. Clark wrinkled his nose too.

"Don't ask," she warned, smiling. "Bruce declined the offer of a lift, so he's still en route."

Eventually, Bruce turned up. With four adults there wouldn't be anywhere near enough room, but with Etrigan on Bruce's lap, John on Diana's — since she had longer legs — and Clark flying to Gotham, it didn't take them long to get to the manor. When they pulled into the Cave, Alfred was waiting.

He spent no more than ten seconds looking the four of them up and down. "I take it the mission did not go exactly as planned, sir?"

* * *

**A/N: Review please!**


	2. Power Rangers

**A/N: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! I can't believe what a fabulous response we got! This is chaosmob's chapter. **

**Chapter Two - Power Rangers**

Bruce didn't bother with a glare to Alfred. It wouldn't work anyway. Instead he settled for a sigh. "No, it did not," he said, pulling his cowl off.

"I take it I should make up four of the guest rooms?" Alfred asked Bruce.

Diana, Etrigan resting on her hip, spoke up. "Etrigan will stay in my room. He needs a mommy to look after him..." Diana turned her eyes on Bruce, "_and_ a daddy."

John snickered at the horrified look on Bruce's face; Clark continued to look stupefied.

"Indeed, Miss Diana?" Alfred's voice held a teasing quality to it, and with that Bruce stomped off towards his computer, ignoring the giggles from his three _immature_ (in every sense of the word) teammates.

When he got to the computer, though, Bruce looked at his chair and frowned. Was he really that tall? It was supposed to be large and imposing, sure, but not to him! _Dick was right..._ Bruce cringed at the thought of Nightwing finding out about his transformation. The young man would bug Bruce mercilessly - and _endlessly _- about it. Another shiver ran down Bruce's spine as he thought about the very long list of people he would not want to know about this. Wally West was near the top. Tied with the Joker.

He managed to climb into the chair, ending up on the seat on bent knees. He turned around to face the computer, and muttered another curse. No doubt Clark would hear that one too, but at the moment he didn't care. His arms were too short; he couldn't reach the console. Wonderful. He hopped back down from the chair, moving over to a nearby drawer, opening it. He pulled out a wireless keyboard and climbed back up onto his chair. It was time to get to work.

* * *

Etrigan lightly snored in Diana's arms as Alfred led them up into the manor. "Are any of you hungry?" he asked.

Three little heads nodded up and down rapidly, causing Alfred to smile as he lead them into the kitchen. Diana watched as if by magic a highchair appeared out of nowhere - conjured by Alfred, of course. She placed Etrigan in it as the two boys took seats at the table. Alfred appeared with a tray full of sandwiches and glasses of milk. Clark and John attacked the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as Diana made sure Etrigan was secure in the highchair.

"Thanks for waiting, guys," Diana said sarcastically as she got into her seat.

Clark and John continued to eat, ignoring her remark. Diana wrinkled her nose at their lack of table manners and picked up a sandwich of her own. Her royal upbringing showed as she sat with her back straight and took tiny bites. Clark made the mistake of giggling at her - getting whacked upside the head for his troubles.

Alfred chimed in before the two started a fight in the kitchen. "Master Clark and Master John, you would do better to follow her Highness' example," he warned.

Clark's farmboy upbringing instantly kicked in and he apologized. "Sorry, Diana."

Diana waited until Alfred turned his back then stuck out her tongue at him. Clark's eyes narrowed at the display. John laughed until milk spouted out of his nostrils, causing the baby demon to giggle as well. In no time at all, all four of them were laughing again.

They cut off abruptly when Alfred turned around again, a plastic bowl in his hand. He say by Etrigan and began spoon-feeding him a thick red-brown paste. Clark spoke. "Alfred...what is that?"

"Raw steak, Master Clark. In pureed form."

"Eeewwww!"

* * *

Bruce had spent the last thirty minutes creating a program that would alter the sound of his voice - hopefully back to a good approximation to how it was normally. That done, he dialled a number and listened as the phone rang. The other end picked up after a few seconds, and female voice spoke.

"Hello?"

Hoping this would work, Bruce spoke. The computer's microphone converted as he did so.

"Zatanna, this is Bruce, I need you to come to my place ASAP," he said. The voice sounded about right, but because of the split second delay he was hearing echoes of myself.

Zatanna laughed. "Nice try, Barbara, your program almost fooled me last time. It's not so good this time."

Bruce growled; instead of the deep threatening sound it normally had, he sounded like Simba in the scene from _The Lion King - _a little kitty, practicing his roar_. _Not that he'd _ever _watched that movie or anything.

"This is Bruce, Zatanna," he nearly yelled back.

His only response was more laughter from the magician. "Sure it is," she teased.

Bruce closed his eyes, sighing deeply and forcing himself to calm. He wasn't sure it was working as he opened his eyes and spoke again.

"When I was being trained by your father, you snuck out trying to follow me but got lost..." Bruce said as he returned to that night.

He'd been trying to make a contact in India to train in meditation arts. He'd heard Bombay - before it became Mumbai - was the best place to go. Bruce had known Zatanna was tracking him, but lost sight of her when he entered the busy downtown section. He did manage to meet his contact, and the man had agreed to establish a connection for Bruce when he left, a week after that. When he'd headed back to the theatre, he'd found Zatanna, crying. He escorted her back with a promise never to tell another soul about it.

As he finished the anecdote, Zatanna gasped. "It _is_ you. Bruce, what's wrong with your voice?"

Bruce frowned. She'd know soon enough. "Trust me, the reason will be explained when you get here," he stated.

"Okay. I'll be there in an hour, Bruce," she promised, hanging up before he could.

Bruce slipped out of his chair and went over to the changing area of the Cave, only to be foiled yet again. He could only just see the top of his cowl in the mirror on the wall. He growled, then removed his costume and had a quick shower. When he dried himself off, he saw that Alfred had laid out some of Tim's old clothes. _Oh, this just keeps getting better._

Bruce sighed as he pulled on Tim's old _Power Rangers_ t-shirt and jeans. Feeling this was bad idea, he pulled a chair over toward the mirror and looked at himself. The person looking back was not the same person he saw in his nightmares. The face looked familiar, but...different too. He worried that what he remembered from that night was totally different the boy he was seeing right now.

Had he changed things in his mind to block out the true ugliness of that night? Bruce stood there staring at himself for a good ten minutes. A cough from the doorway caused him to turn his head, seeing Alfred in the doorway.

"Dinner is ready, Master Bruce. And before you protest, you are a growing boy and need to eat," he declared.

Bruce stood there for a moment staring back at Alfred. Surely not another one who thought just because he _looked _like a child he was? He was having a hard enough time convincing the others! But, on the other hand...there was something familiar and comforting about it. It was _jus_t like when he was a child. Alfred had changed too since that day. But maybe tonight they could both pretend things were as simple as they used to be.

"You are correct, Alfred," Bruce said, hopping down from the chair and exiting the changing room. They started the ascent back up to the manor, Bruce sighing mentally again. The damn staircase was really too big. They needed an elevator. After what seemed forever to Bruce, they finally reached the top as they entered the library.

He entered the kitchen to three giggling superheroes. John had his mouth full of chocolate cheese cake, apparently trying to stuff even more in. Clark was laughing and teasing John.

"I fit more in my mouth," he crowed. Diana had Etrigan on her lap as the baby demon played with a spoon. All three took a double take at Bruce's attire. Then they waited a total of three seconds before they all started to laugh at his ridiculous clothing.

John created a stereo that hovered in the air, playing the _Power Rangers_ theme song on it. Clark fell from his chair, laughing harder. Diana probably would have joined him if she had not been holding Etrigan. Little Etrigan was clapping his hands together as the music pleased him.

Bruce shot them all a batglare as he climbed into a seat. Alfred simply looked at John, causing the young Green Lantern to stop the music and vanish the stereo. Alfred placed a plate of food in front of Bruce. Clark flew back up into his seat and continued to giggle until Alfred gave him a full glare. The Man of Steel instantly shut up.

Diana's eyes sparked in amusement at Bruce. "Alfred, can I have a pink _Power Rangers_ t-shirt?" she asked.

Alfred nodded. "I will procure clothing for all of you all tomorrow; I could find some old clothing of Master Tim's for tonight," he said.

Clark and John instantly looked horrified as they stared at Alfred then looked again at what Bruce was wearing. The two then slowly turned and looked at each other.

"No..." both said in unison.

"We can wait until tomorrow," Clark added.

Bruce smirked. "Come on, Kent, you can be the Red Ranger." Bruce stared him down with both humor and revenge in his eyes.

Clark's eyes widened. "I... I can handle being in my suit for tonight," he stammered.

With a large smile on his face, John said, "I don't need new clothes, I can make my own." His clothes changed from his uniform to a pair of blue jeans and a clean white t-shirt. The other three glared at him at the smug display.

A popping sound was heard in the hallway outside the kitchen. Bruce closed his eyes as his jaw tightened. Zatanna was early. The group heard a clip clop of high heels on the hard wooden floors.

* * *

This had been Zatanna's second time to the manor since she and Bruce had reconnected during the time he helped clear her name of a robbery she hadn't committed. She'd teleported herself into the large foyer tonight. She looked around and saw a light coming from the kitchen.

She'd been expecting Alfred to pop out of nowhere, to her surprise he did not. So she called out. "Bruce, where are you?"

It was Alfred's voice that answered her. "In here, Miss Zatanna."

When Zatanna entered the kitchen, what she saw caused her to blurt out, "Oh My God!"

* * *

**A/N: Review please!**


	3. Homework

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!**

**Chapter Three - Homework**

Diana waved from her seat with a cheery smile. "Hey, Zatanna."

"Um...hi."

To her credit, the magician didn't start laughing until her eyes met Bruce's. In the batsuit, the glare was enough to send most people running and hiding. But coming from a boy in a _Power Rangers _t-shirt, Zatanna couldn't stand it. She burst out laughing.

Bruce crossed his arms and attempted to wait patiently until it was over. It took some time. Dinner and dessert had been consumed by the time she could breathe properly, and even then the occasional giggle still slipped out. "Wh-Who was it?"

"Morgaine Le Fay," he glowered. "She transformed us into children to deal with her son, then refused to change us back."

Zatanna nodded. "I see. Well, I can try. But I can't promise anything."

"Because?"

"Magic's like wine - it gets better with age. And Morgaine Le Fay's been a sorceress for at least a thousand years, if not more. I doubt my magic will be a match for hers," she explained. "However, the enchantment to keep you as children shouldn't be too strong. And if her attention is elsewhere-"

"She said she was looking for a way to restore her son's eternal youth," Diana put in.

Zatanna nodded. "Then hopefully I'll be able to help."

"Good. Get on with it."

Zatanna looked doubtfully around. "In Alfred's kitchen? I don't think so."

Bruce rolled his eyes, preparing to tell Zatanna she was being stupid - until he caught Alfred's eye. "Right. Cave it is."

Once assembled in the Batcave, Zatanna had them stand in a circle, and join hands. John eyed Diana's hand with unconcealed horror. "But I'll get _cooties_!"

"Oh for-" With an impatient sigh, Diana grabbed GL's hand. "Stop being stupid," she told him firmly. Then she smiled sweetly at the woman once again trying hard not to laugh. "When you're ready, Zatanna."

"Right." She adjusted her hat and lifted her wand into the air. "Yb eht srewop fo cigam taht ediug em, egnahc kcab ot ruoy eurt smrof!"

Golden sparkles erupted from the end of her wand, swooping around the child-Leaguers, weaving in and out of their clasped hand. But nothing happened after the breeze and warm light had dissipated. They were all still eight years old.

"What went wrong?" Clark asked, frowning.

Zatanna frowned, then rolled her sleeves up. "I'll try a different spell, hold on." She took a deep breath. "Nerdlihc dnats erofeb em, stluda nihtiw. Tel eht sraey fo doohdlihc ltem yawa won!"

More sparks this time, but violet in colour this time. The result was the same. "Sorry," she said. "I guess my powers run a distant second to those of Merlin's greatest enemy."

"There must be something else you can do," Bruce growled.

"There isn't, at least for now! I'll be able to do more with more research, but there are at least a hundred different spells she could have used to do this to you, and without narrowing down the field, there's nothing. So don't get snippy with me, Bruce."

Bruce opened his mouth, eyes narrowed, to argue some more, before Diana laid a calming hand on his forearm. More arguing wouldn't help; if Zatanna's magic wasn't enough without more specific knowledge, then she couldn't help that. "Zatanna," the princess said, sounding much more like her adult-self, "are there any books we could look through for you, to try and research? I'm sure with the League and your show you're very busy. We'd be happy to help."

John leaned toward Clark, speaking in a whisper that carried easily in the cavern. "Did she just volunteer _us _for homework?"

"Think so."

"That blows."

Zatanna was nodding. "Yes. I've got several in my apartment, so I can magic them here. Hang on." She cleared her throat. "Cigam skoob, emoc ot em!"

A window of white opened up in the air about ten feet above their heads; a dozen enormous books followed it, one narrowly missing John's head but landing on his foot instead. "Ow!"

"Oops, sorry," Zatanna said. "Anyway, those are the only ones that I think might be helpful. I've got to get going, you guys. Sorry again!"

With that, she disappeared as swiftly as she'd appeared. Diana sighed, looking down at the books. "Well, we should get started now I guess."

"Now?" Clark asked, dismayed. "But, Diana, we haven't even had _one _go on Tim's X-Box yet-"

"Do you want to be stuck as a kid forever, Kal?" she demanded, hands on her hips again.

Bruce didn't bother trying to hide his smirk at the cowed and defeated expression that appeared on Clark's face. "No, I guess not..."

"There you are then." Without a noise of effort, Diana piled six of the books into Superboy's arms, transferring another three to John. He opted to carry them upstairs in a huge green book-bag rather than strain himself. Diana took two of the books, offering a winning smile to Batboy over her shoulder. "You can take the last one, can't you, Bruce?"

Bruce regarded the book doubtfully. It was as big as his entire _torso_; covered in dust with heavy leather bindings and jewelled metal clasps. It took a lot of puffing and panting, and a lot of muttering creative expletives that were not appropriate for a boy his age, but eventually he got to the elevator, and took it up to the library. To find the three of them already in there, with only Diana looking like she was putting any effort into what she was doing. Clark and John were sat behind her, making rude gestures and giggling silently. Next step would no doubt be making paper airplanes out of torn book pages.

Bruce put the book down on the table, then moved toward the door. "You aren't staying?" Diana's voice asked in concern.

He looked at her impassively. "Patrol."

All three of them stared at him incredulously. "Patrol?"

"Yes. Gotham's criminals aren't going to take the night off just because I'm like this."

"But... Bruce, you're...a kid!"

He glared. "I had become aware of that, actually."

"Then why are you going patrolling?" Diana asked.

"I think I already answered that question."

"Well, do you...want some help?"

"Have I ever before?"

"No."

"Then no."

"But-"

"I said _no, _Diana!"

Hearing her impatient and disappointed huff of a sigh, Bruce turned and left.

* * *

"What time is it?"

"Thirty seconds since you last asked, Diana..."

"So...?"

"Ten past eleven."

"And high time the three of you went to bed, children," Alfred said, just coming in. He was balancing a tray on one hand, three glasses of warm milk on it. "Miss Diana, the baby is asleep in his crib, and - as requested - in your bedroom."

She beamed. "Thank you, Alfred."

"A pleasure, my dear. Now come on, all of you. Off to bed."

After drinking the warm milk and snuggling into the electrically-heated bed, Diana expected to drift off to sleep quickly, and sleep well. But she didn't. Her brain couldn't shut down - and she knew exactly why. Bruce, being his infuriating self. He was _eight_, for Hera's sake! How on Earth did he expect to do _anything_ in the city? He must need help, surely. Surely.

She'd just sneak down to the Cave and look. One look couldn't hurt, right? She'd just take a look at the readouts of his suit, make sure he was okay and then come back to bed. And then she'd talk to him about it in the morning. And demand that she'd come with him tomorrow night then.

She tiptoed past Etrigan's cot carefully so as not to wake him, the floated down the hallway, feeling that Alfred would hear even the lightest footstep on the marble floor. She couldn't hold back a soft chuckle as she passed Clark's room though - his snores were audible even through the door.

She managed to get down to the Batcave without waking or alerting anyone, though she had to remain floating to reach the keys on the massive computer. "Come on, Bruce, where are you...?"

She typed until she brought up the little beeping marker that showed Batboy's position in the city, as well as all his vitals. All strong and fine. She smiled in satisfaction at the pulsing yellow dot. He was fine. Then she frowned. And not moving. And according to this, he hadn't moved for the last ten minutes. Was he hurt?

_No, he can't be. The suit shows he's fine... _But what if it was wrong? Diana bit her lip, debating inwardly. If she went into the city after he'd told her not to, then he'd be angry - but then she could definitely ascertain he was okay. Weighing her options, she finally decided on the best course of action. She'd go. She'd make sure he was alright, and then she'd leave again.

When she arrived at Batboy's location, fifteen minutes later, Diana actually fell out of the sky. "What in _Athena's _name do you think you're doing?!" she yelled.

* * *

**A/N: Review please!**


	4. Wrinkles

**A/N: Here is Chaosmob's chapter :) Hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter Four - Wrinkles**

Diana just about stopped herself from crashing onto the rooftop after witnessing little Batman sitting on the knee of a leather-clad woman.

The two turned when they heard her shout, "What in Athena's name do you think you're doing?!" and watched her land with a complete lack of grace.

Bruce felt like he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. _Just great_, he thought. How was he going to explain this to Diana?

_

* * *

Thirty minutes earlier_

Bruce had been patrolling Gotham - and was out of breath and twenty minutes behind in his normal routine. Damn short legs and arms, he grumbled to himself as he stood on the roof of a ten-story apartment building. He was trying to catch his breath when he heard a voice behind him.

"Aw, a little version of Batman, how uber cute," the female purred.

Bruce's eyes closed. _Not her, not now_, he thought as he turned and stared at the curled-up figure of Catwoman on the ledge.

Her lips curled into a smirk as she stared at the tiny version of Batman. "So big Batman has a new partner that dresses exactly like him?" she asked as she dropped down, her hips swaying as she approached.

"What are you doing here, Catwoman?" Batboy asked, his voice higher than normal, causing a blush to appear on his exposed face. He kept forgetting that.

Selina caught the blush and her smirk grew. "I was scoping out that jewellery story across the street."

Batman's lenses narrowed as he watched her for any threatening movements.

"Aren't you a cutey?" she said as she studied him from head to toe. "What's your name, sweetie?" she asked, as the little boy stood silently. Several seconds passed as she waited, Selina rubbed her chin in thought. Was it possible...? The boy acted way too much like Batman for comfort, that much was certainly true. To test out her theory, she extracted her whip from the holster on her hip.

Bruce readied himself for a fight, but Catwoman's pose told him she wasn't truly going to cause him any harm. It was still quite playful.

Selina whipped out at the boy a few times - never coming close enough to hit the child. When the boy had not moved an inch she paused. "Batman?" she asked in amazement.

The reaction - or lack of it - on the boy's face told her everything. Selina reattached her whip.

"What happened to you?" Her voice held such concern, but Batboy ignored her as he turned away. A clawed glove gripped his shoulder. "Don't ignore me Batman - I know it's you. No child acts that way."

Little Batman growled out, "Magic..." What surprised Bruce was that Catwoman turned him around then wrapped her arms around him protectively.

"We'll figure this out," she whispered.

Twenty five minutes later Selina had managed to get him to tell her the whole story and even managed to get him to sit on her lap as he told her his tale - then they were interrupted.

* * *

Diana's eyes narrowed at the sight of Bruce and Catwoman, in such a cozy, almost intimate, embrace. It made Diana furious at how affectionate Bruce was being! And he'd told his actual allies that he didn't need anyone! Gritting her teeth, Diana forced herself to shake off the thoughts of hurling Catwoman off the roof and spoke up. "You should have been home an hour ago," she told Bruce commandingly.

Selina looked where the voice had come from and nearly fell over laughing. There standing on the roof was a mini version of Wonder Woman. Batman hadn't told her about that. "Oh this is so priceless! Not only a mini version of Batman but also of Wonder Woman," Selina's body continued to jerk with laughter, nearly dropping little Batman in the process.

Diana's eye twitched. "I may be a child in stature, but I'm still a warrior if you wish to test me!" she snarled, her eyes lighting up threateningly. Selina held up her free hand in surrender as she tried to control her giggles.

"No need for that, little one," she chuckled, causing Diana's fist to tighten harder.

Bruce quickly pulled away from Selina's hold and slid off of her lap. "What are you doing here Prin- Wonder Woman?" he asked, trying to defuse the situation before it turned into a war.

Diana's eyes did not soften. Instead she folded her arms and shifted her glare to him. "I was worried about you! The computer said you hadn't moved in almost half an hour..." Diana's defensive stand gentled a little bit. "I thought you were injured."

Batman stood a little more rigidly after hearing that. "As you can see, I'm fine. Go back," he said dismissively.

Diana placed her small hands on her hips. "Not without you." Her voice brooked no argument.

Selina sat there listening to the interaction between the two. It caused a slight tightening in her chest, made her hope that the direction her thoughts were taking her might not be right. "Batman," she pouted, "we haven't finished talking..."

Without realizing it Diana took a few steps closer towards him and took his hand possessively. "It's time to come home, now!"

Diana's words annoyed Selina. Who was she to tell her or Batman what they could or could not do? "We are not done talking, child, why don't you fly off and find Superman to play with," she mocked.

Diana released Bruce's hand and lifted her chin high. "Why don't I just play with your face instead?!"

Selina finally stood up and towered over mini Wonder Woman. "I would like to see you try that."

Diana floated up to stare eye to eye with Selina. "I wouldn't have to try very hard."

Batman had had enough of their bickering. "Enough you two!" he yelled. "Catwoman, it's time for you to go home."

Diana smirked as Selina's eyes narrowed. However, her triumph was short-lived as Bruce turned his glare on her. "And the same for you too," he pointed. Both Diana and Selina stood there in shock. Batman pulled out his grappling hook and swung away from the two females.

Selina sighed. "Men. Um, boys." Diana nodded her head in agreement - especially that boy. He always managed to run away.

When Diana turned her attention back to Selina and found her to be missing as well, she rolled her eyes and exhaled. "How can they both do that? There must be something in the water here." She floated upward, deciding returning to the manor was the only thing left to do. She had no way of tracking Bruce, and he'd have to come back to the Cave eventually. She fully intended to be there when he did.

He returned from patrol an hour later, to find her with her arms crossed, sitting in his chair. She didn't give him chance to remove his cowl before she launched into her diatribe. "So you'll accept help from someone you know can't be trusted, but not from your friends?"

"She wasn't helping me, she was-"

"She was what, telling you bedtime stories?!" Diana yelled. "I'm not stupid, Bruce, I know what I saw! I can't believe you're actually-"

"You don't know jack about what I'm doing, Princess, so why don't you just go to bed?" he snapped.

"I know exactly what you're doing! Are you that prejudiced against metas that you'd rather accept aid from a woman who could betray you at any time? We're your friends, Bruce, we know you well enough to know that Gotham is your city - you might try showing us the same respect sometimes! Sometimes it's like you just see us as threats all of the time!"

"You _are_ threats all of the time," he said quickly, carrying on before she could reply and hating the flash of hurt that crossed her features. "But that doesn't stop me from being your friend too."

"Then act like it! Even when we're big again, just tell me if you want someone else-"

"What? Diana, you're being ridiculously childish."

"Newsflash, Bruce, I am a child! And so are you! Stop acting so...grown-up all the time!" She stopped, sighing. "Why can't you just enjoy this?"

"You know why," he hissed.

She nodded somewhat miserably. "It's just..." She trailed off, and Bruce took the opportunity to move over to the computer and update his logs. Diana didn't move. "You really shouldn't brood so much, y'know?" she told him finally.

Bruce tried to ignore her, but she kept looking at him expectantly. "I can brood if I want to."

"Yeah, but you shouldn't."

"Why not?" he snapped finally.

"One, 'cause you're getting wrinkles," she said matter-of-factly, leaning forward to tap her index finger between his eyebrows, "right here. And two, 'cause nobody likes a grumpy guts," she added brightly, with a smile.

Bruce glared at her retreating back as she hopped off the chair and left. He waited until he was sure she'd gone before he checked. "I do _not_ have wrinkles."

A few moments later, Alfred came down the stairs. "Was it a productive night Master Bruce?" Bruce nodded his head as he stared at the blank screen.

"Women and magic..." he said, his voice tired. "I will never figure either of them out."

Alfred's face broke into a small smile. "Yes. Even the greatest detective in the world has his limits," he said as Bruce turned and stared at him.

Bruce gave him a simple nod in agreement. "I need coffee."

Alfred's eyebrow raised slightly. "Not for a growing boy, sir, warm milk is in order," he said as he produced a glass of the white substance.

Bruce looked in horror at it as it was placed next to him. He moved his gaze back up to Alfred, and then saw the you-will-drink-it-and-be-grateful-Master-Bruce look on the Englishman's face.

Bruce gripped the tall glass tightly and drained the contents in several gulps and slammed it back down on the console. Alfred nodded his head and took away the offending glass. "It's time for rest, Master Bruce," he said mildly.

Bruce sighed, then hopped off the chair and walked back up to the manor with his head hung low. He hated being a child again.

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**A/N: Please address your reviews to Chaosmob! **


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